Dinge die Computer in Filmen tun können
Dieser Artikel wurde in einem meiner zahlreichen Foren veröffentlicht, in denen ich unterwegs bin. Ich fand ihn so originell, dass ich ihn kurzerhand in meinen Blog kopiert habe.
THINGS COMPUTERS CAN DO IN MOVIES
1. Word processors never display a cursor.
2. You never have to use the space-bar when
typing long sentences.
3. Movie characters never make typing mistakes.
4. All monitors display inch-high letters.
5. High-tech computers, such as those used
by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental
institution, will have easy to understand
graphical nterfaces.
6. Those that don’t have graphical interfaces
will have incredibly powerful text-based
command shells that can correctly understand
and execute commands typed in plain English.
7. Note: Command line interfaces will give you
access to any information you want by simply
typing, “ACCESS THE SECRET FILES” on any
near-by keyboard.
8. You can also infect a computer with a
destructive virus by simply typing “UPLOAD”.
9. All computers are connected.
You can access the information on the
villain’s desktop computer even if it’s turned off.
10. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key
or the screen changes. Some computers also slow
down the output on the screen so that it doesn’t
go faster than you can read.
11. All computer panels operate on thousands of volts
and have explosive devices underneath their surface.
Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash of light,
a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks and an
explosion that causes you to jump backwards.
12. People typing on a computer can safely turn it off
without saving the data.
13. A hacker is always able to break into
the most sensitive computer in the world by
guessing the secret password in two tries.
14. You may bypass “PERMISSION DENIED” message
by using the “OVERRIDE” function. (“Demolition Man”.)
15. Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up
instead of the average 2 minutes for desktop
PCs and 30 minutes or more for larger systems
that can run 24 hours, 365 days a year without a reset.
16. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts
of data will be accomplished in under three seconds.
Movie modems usually appear to
transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.
17. When the power plant/missile site/main computer
overheats, all control panels will explode
shortly before the entire building will.
18. If you display a file on the screen and someone
deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen
(See “Clear and Present Danger”).
19. If a disk contains encrypted files, you are
automatically asked for a password when you insert it.
20. Computers can interface with any other computer
regardless of the
manufacturer or galaxy where it originated.
(See “Independence Day”.)
21. Computer disks will work on any computer has a
floppy drive and all
software is usable on any platforms.
22. The more high-tech the equipment, the more
buttons it will have. (See “Aliens”.)
23. Note: You must be highly trained to operate
high-tech computers because the buttons have
no labels except for the “SELF-DESTRUCT”
button.
24. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying
three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic
graphics capabilities.
25. Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone
capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY
Supercomputer.
26. Whenever a character looks at a monitor,
the image is so bright that it projects itself
onto their face. (See “Alien” or “2001″.)
27. Searches on the internet will always return
what you are looking for no matter how vague
your keywords are. (See “Mission Impossible”,
Tom Cruise searches with keywords like “file”
and “computer” and 3 results are returned.)