Diese Story ist wirklich der Brüller! Auch diese wurde mir von einem netten Kollegen zur Verfügung gestellt! Was wäre man nur ohne Nachbarn

Tech Support: “So you’re having issues picking up your wireless signal … how many connections are there?”

Customer: “There’s two other networks but only one bar on each … those are my bad neighbors.”

Tech Support: “So the good signal isn’t there? Hmm, your modem might be off; can we check that?”

Customer: “Modem?”

(Tech support troubleshot that for a while before realizing the guy had never paid for internet before and didn’t own a modem.)

Tech Support: “Sir, when you said the other connections were your ‘bad neighbors…’ Did you mean that the good neighbor with the good signal isn’t there?”

Customer: “Oh, he moved?”

Diese Informationen wurden mir freundlicherweise von einem Kollegen zur Verfügung gestellt. Ich möchte in diesem Beitrag auf die Frage: "Gibt es Karma?" eingehen. Obwohl ich denke ihr könnt diese Frage gleich selber beantworten. Lest selbst:

(Back story: I sold a woman four phones on a family plan for her and her 3 teenage daughters. She insisted that she be put on the 500 minute plan (the smallest family plan). I informed her that most teenagers can use 500 minutes in a week and begged her to take a larger plan.

She refused and became quite angry and belligerent with me for suggesting “that her daughters were not responsible adults.” I noted on her account that she was advised of all overage charges and that there were to be no refunds on the account for overage charges. One month later she returns purple faced and on the verge of a stroke with her $3,200 phone bill.)

Customer: “I need these charges taken off.”

Me: “No, I explained the overage scale to you when you activated your phone, and begged you to take a larger plan. You insisted this was the one you needed and I cannot refund any of the charges.”

Customer: “F**k you then, and f**k [cellular provider]. Cancel my account!”

Me: “I’ll be happy to deactivate your phones but unfortunately that does not release you from your contract. There will be a $240.00 charge for each phone on the account for breaking your contract and you will still be responsible for the current charges.”

(The customer suddenly throws her phone at my head. I duck and it smashes into the wall in a million pieces.)

Customer: “F**K [cell phone provider]! F**K YOU, AND F**K ALL OF YOU A**HOLES TOO!”

(Inexplicably, the last part was directed at the other customers waiting patiently for her to finish. She then proceeds to storm out to her car, a brand new Lexus SC 430. She redlines the engine, drops it into gear and hits a lamp post hard enough to shatter every piece of glass in the car as well as almost tearing the front half of the car off.)

Customer: *comes back in the store* “Can I use your phone?”

Another Customer: “Karma’s a b**ch, ain’t it?”

Ok das ist jetzt wirklich mal was für Macuser oder Kollegen von euch die Macuser sind, die ihr mal wirklich erschrecken möchtet

In the beginning were harmless computer viruses. Viruses born out of the wit of early computer adopters, viruses whose sole purpose was to surprise and amuse. A non-destructive form of artificial life.

We wanted to revive this golden era, and went on to create our first computer virus. We chose to do it for mac as the platform is still a virgin territory

Spice up your colleagues’ day with our Newton Virus, the first virus to introduce gravity to your laptop, causing the desktop icons to fall down as if subject to the gravitational pull from the real world.

Newton Virus comes on a USB key for manual infection. Simply plug the key into a computer and the virus will automatically copy itself on the hard drive.

The virus will then hit at random, but only once. It will not replicate itself, mail itself to your friends or destroy any of your files, but instead provides you with moments of blissful surprise and magic.

Credits:
Concept & Design: Troika
Programming: Mauritius Seeger – Dr Mo

Ultra geil!

Und die Kandidaten die es nicht geschafft haben

Ok, ich weiss, eventuell nicht gerade das richtige Thema für Weihnachten, aber ich fand den Spot so witzig, dass ich ihn euch nicht Vorenthalten konnte! Überzeugt euch selbst

und der kommt aus der gleichen Ecke. Aber auch ziemlich witzig

Der ist zwar schon etwas älter aber irgendwie superlustig

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about
buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you
have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “W” if you don’t start with some
straight answers! What about financial. You have anything I can track my
money?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsof t gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A few days later . . . . . . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on “START” !!!!!

Quelle: http://www.geekoftheday.com/geek-jokes/abbott-and-costello-buy-a-computer.html